being happy: some information on this one
15 February, 2012 § 1 Comment
I was thinking recently about why I’m happy right now and also more generally. This is a thing that self-absorbed jerks in their mid-twenties do, or at least I am inclined to believe that they do this this based on my own experience, which I’ll generalize to all folks since I have no theory of mind. If they are not doing this, then they are thinking about why they are miserable. Same same.
Anyway, I was trying to pinpoint exactly what is all so good about bein a folk these days. It’s not Cairo, since I’ve been very unhappy in Cairo before–in times of when I was being super lame. It’s not my family and friends that have changed; they are all boss, but it’s all the same friends as in the past, except for some new ones also, true, but still. Perhaps it’s indulging in such self-serving self-reflection that makes the difference! (No seriously they say that all this self-reflection and self-tracking and whatever else is a factor, dudes.)
No, seriously, I think it’s mostly that, this semester, this moment, today, tomorrow, I’m being the thing I wanted to be when I grew up. Pretty sweet, friends! When I was a tiny baby no bigger than a monkey, I wanted to grow up and be a history professor (well, to be fair, this was more like when I was a tiny baby in high school, as when I was no bigger than a monkey I think I wanted to be an artist and marine biologist and everything, see here). Now I’m no professor, I’ll give you that (but don’t tell my students), but I am teaching two college courses and the students call me Dr. Amanda and the sticker by the door to my “office” (i.e., desk in a conference room) says “Dr. Amanda Propst.” So it’s close enough, if you ask me, which you implicitly were by reading this. I have a faculty ID. Close enough. I always wanted to do this, and now I am.
No matter what I do with the days I got left earthside (which can be anything! cool! being an adult is the best thing ever), even if it’s not being a real grown-up history professor (and realistically, it’s unlikely that I will grow up and be a real professor, since we’ll probably dismantle higher education in some years), I did it. I am being the thing I wanted to be since forever. From this moment on, I can’t not have been a history professor at least in the broad sense. Ha! So I can do whatever else now.
Let’s go places!